Halves: aka Purg Sex
by Dark-Phantasmagoria
Summary: Dean is running... Running from the horrors that he has to confront in Purgatory. After hours of torturous death and resurrection Dean suddenly finds Cas, who teleports them to a safer part of Purgatory. What is it that Dean realizes when Cas is healing his wounds?


Dean's footfalls clattered against the cold stone floor as he ran for his life. Everything around him was darkness, and the only thing he could hear other than his heart pounding in his chest was the rattling wind that seemed to envelop him in a tornado-like column. He felt cold, blackened, and more miserable than he had ever felt. The monsters that were tailing him, trying to catch him so that they could torture his soul for eternity, were close. Dean had been running for almost a full day, and the only thing that kept him from dropping of exhaustion was his will to live, although, he wasn't technically alive anymore. Dean heard voices echoing around him from all sounds, felt blood pumping in his veins. Every sense was on high alert, vigilant for a sound of movement behind him. Where was Cas? Dean had been begging and praying for the angel ever since they had arrived and Cas had vanished into thin air. How could he leave Dean alone and defenseless here? All Dean wanted now was to collapse and die, but for some reason he kept running. Finally, he rounded a corner and almost fainted from the impact with the angel's chest.

"Oof," Dean huffed as he nearly bounced off of Cas and fell to the ground. Now that he wasn't moving, he felt that his knees were shaking and felt white hot. Dean reached down and felt the oozing blood that was dripping from his scraped and cut knees and thighs. His jeans were torn to shreds, and he honestly just wanted to die. But Cas wouldn't let it happen. The angel stepped in front of Dean and confronted the demons. He stretched out his arm and whispered a few carefully chosen Latin words, and suddenly Dean's monsters vanished. Cas turned back to the broken hunter and scooped him up in his arms. There was a pop and Dean's ears began ringing, as they were teleported to another part of purgatory. When Dean opened his eyes he saw that it was somehow brighter here… Dean blinked at the sudden brightness, being in dark for at least several days now. Cas was standing in front of him holding Dean's arm and muttering several phrases. Dean watched as his wounds healed instantly from the angel's touch.

"How can you do that?" he whispered, having been previously unaware of that particular gift of Cas's.

"I am an angel Dean," Cas said quietly as he finished healing the hunter.

Dean stretched out his arm and twisted it about when the angel finished. It was good as new, perfect actually.

"Thanks," he said. Dean looked around. Now he saw that they were in some dimly lit hallway, and no demons or monsters were lurking anywhere…

"Cas, where are we?" Dean asked, looking at the angel.

"We're still in Purgatory."

"But, it looks different here," Dean said.

"Yes, it is. I've protected this area with several spells and other such things. You're safe for now Dean," Cas said, putting his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean didn't shrug away like he normally would from Cas's touch. Instead he just looked at the angel's hand for several minutes. When he finally looked back at his angel, he searched his blue eyes.

"Are we going to die?"

"That's debatable. I guess we're not really alive, are we?" Cas said.

Dean nodded. "That's what I figured…"

Cas went to sit on a wooden bench that was in the room. Dean followed and stretched out, feeling relaxed to finally sit down. His feet felt like they would fall off.

"I'm tired Cas. Why did you just come now? I've been calling you for days. Why would you just leave me defenseless like that? I was running for my life… I thought you were dead," Dean said quietly.

"I had to leave Dean. I had to see what was going on first of all, and then when I tried to get back to you I couldn't find you. It was only when you prayed for me that I realized where you were," Cas said.

"Oh. Wouldn't I have been praying _to _you, Cas?" Dean asked.

"No. I'd consider us as equals." Dean felt a pin drop suddenly in the room.

"But—you're an angel. I'm just a bad ass hunter who happens to be your friend," Dean said, hinting at his usual cockiness a little bit.

"Yes, but I'm a fallen angel. I rebelled, remember?"

"Oh yeah… It seems that I've made you do a lot of that rebellious crap," Dean said guiltily.

"Don't think badly on it. I'm glad that I've fallen to be honest. I feel a little more emotion than I did before… And I don't have to follow anyone's orders but my own," Cas said with a rare smile.

"I guess…" said Dean. They sat in silence for a long time, both thinking about their own issues. Only, Dean was feeling very conflicted at the moment. He couldn't do this anymore. Yet again, Cas was protecting him, always healing him and helping him with everything in life. Dean sighed and looked at Cas.

"Why are you here Cas?" he asked calmly.

"What do you mean? I'm trapped here just like you are…" Cas said, not understanding.

Dean sighed. "I mean, why are you always _here _by me? You always show up at just the right moment to save me and then vanish like it never happened. I don't get it Cas. I dunno, I just wish that sometimes you were here all of the time, you know? You're the only one that I have right now…" Dean shook his head.

"Dean, I'm here because I want to be," Cas said.

"Cas…" Dean groaned, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

"What?"

Dean didn't understand… What was wrong with him? Why was he feeling so torn up inside? What was it that he needed to tell Cas? He always felt like he was keeping a secret from the angel… But, what on earth was it? Dean looked into Cas's blue eyes and saw the world open up to him. Was that was it took to break him? Going to purgatory? Being thrown into an endless pit and finally being alone with Cas? No, no, no, no. Dean denied it. He couldn't feel that way. Somehow he had always known… His little jokes, gestures, sexual comments to Cas. Cas only ever spoke to him… He was the only human that he regularly talked to. Dean had always been the one to call Cas, almost as if they shared a connection. What did it mean? Was Dean actually in love with the angel? Was he gay, or even bisexual? He searched himself, looking for some kind of confirmation that he did love Cas. Well, he knew that whenever Cas showed up he was immediately cheered up. He knew that when he was in danger it was always Cas that he wished for… But was it love? Dean had never really felt love with someone before, although he'd been with a lot of women. It was unfamiliar to him. Maybe that was why it took him so long to accept. Cas was _his _love. Dean reached out his hand and turned the angel towards him, making Cas snap out of his dark thoughts.

"Dean?" he asked uncertainly, looking at the human.

"Ah-hem," Dean cleared his throat.

"What?" Cas asked.

"Cas, there's something that I should've told you a long time ago," said Dean… He felt ridiculous, but if Purgatory wasn't good enough to tell Cas, then where the hell was?

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Cas asked, immediately looking worried.

"No, no. It's just that I've had this feeling for a really long time, and I think I can finally admit it," said Dean.

"What on earth are you talking about Dean?" Cas asked.

"I'm talking about that I love you," Dean rushed, almost slurring the words when they spilled out. He had said it, opened the big can of worms. What if Cas didn't feel the same way? Chances were that he wouldn't. He was an angel. They didn't have feelings…

"Dean? What do you mean by that?" Cas asked. Dean immediately blushed redder than he ever had and looked away.

"Never mind," he said, and a tear streamed down his cheek. Cas looked anxious and turned Dean back to him.

"Why are you crying?" Cas asked, confounded. Dean shook his head.

"I couldn't hold it in anymore Cas, and now I've just told you and you don't feel the same way!" Dean yelled, wanting to punch something. Cas looked shocked.

"Dean," he said slowly. "I'm sorry for not immediately responding. I just don't understand what you mean," he said.

"Love? You don't understand love?" Dean said angrily. "Okay Cas, I don't know how that's possible since you've been alive for like four thousand years, but it's basically the fact that you are the person that I care the most about and I would do anything for you, only it's been really hard for me to admit it because I never know if you feel the same way. I always feel terrible because you risk your life so many times and I never know if it's just because I'm another job to you or if you actually feel something too." Now Dean's face was soaked with tears and he didn't realize that he was grasping Cas's trench coat like a vice. Cas looked dazed and was staring at Dean with widened eyes.

Dean immediately released him when he realized what he was doing. "I'm sorry," he muttered.

"It's alright," said Cas. Dean stared at the angel's face for several minutes, engaging in their typical eye battles. Finally, he reached for the angel's trench coat again and grasped it, pulling the angel into a kiss… their first kiss…

When Dean's cracked and hardened lips touched Cas's smooth, perfect ones, Dean felt like a sun had erupted inside of his body. He felt his senses awaken as the realizations hit him one after another. He pulled Cas closer, and wrapped his arms around the angel's waist. Cas responded hesitantly and put his arms around Dean's neck, gripping his hair in his hands. Dean kissed Cas deeper and deeper, falling into the angel's loving grasp. He pulled on Cas's lip with his, friskily kissing his neck and planting little hot kisses on his cheeks, temples, nose, eyes, everything…

Cas was overcome with emotion so much that he felt like he would burst. He pushed against Dean more and Dean nearly jumped to wrap his legs around Cas. In doing so, he pushed them both off of the bench and they fell to the ground. But it didn't matter. Everything around Dean felt soft, warm, and full of life. He leaned over Cas on the cold stone ground, not caring where they were or what would happen tomorrow. Only caring about this one moment, hoping that it would never end, and needing to take in every part of Cas, make every part _his. _Dean eagerly pulled at the angel's trench coat and pulled it off of the angel, throwing it off to the side. He vaguely thought about how he missed Cas's tie, but quickly forgot as he pulled off the angel's new white shirt. Cas followed Dean's lead and began to rip off his jacket, moaning in pleasure and kissing his neck. He dropped it on the ground and worked at Dean's shirt, unbuttoning each button and each time kissing the little bit of skin that was revealed.

_Just like Cas. Always the romantic, _Dean thought, knowing that Cas would be more of an emotional lover than any Dean had had before. He would savor the moments, even when they weren't sexual in the least. It was always how he had acted. When Cas reached the last button, he smiled slightly and pulled Dean's shirt right off, leaving his chest bare. Dean smiled and pressed against Cas, tugging at the angel's pants as he did so. Cas bit his lip and grinned, helping Dean with the task. He began to undo the hunter's belt, and then slid his pants off so that they lay forgotten on the ground. Cas suddenly jolted his hips upward and rolled over so that he was on top of Dean. He pulled Dean into another kiss and then Dean stopped for a moment, breathing heavily. He sat up on his knees so that the angel's legs were spread around him and he was sitting like child. Dean grabbed Cas's neck and pulled him in again, rubbing every part of skin that he had against the angel. Finally he stopped and looked down. His hands began to shake a bit as he reached for Cas's grey underwear. He stopped only for a second, and then slid them off.

Underneath his trench coat, Cas was stunning. This was the first look that Dean had ever gotten of him, and he loved what he saw. Cas surprisingly was pretty muscular, and he was _huge _down there. Dean smiled and reached down to finally take what was rightfully his. Cas moaned as soon as the hunter touched him, and grasped his shoulder in pleasure, digging his nails into Dean's skin. Dean grinned even wider.

"My turn," he said, gesturing to his olive-green underwear. Cas nodded and easily slipped them off so that they were both revealed to each other. Dean licked his lips and after another quick kiss, scooted downwards and laid so that he was right in front of Cas. He eagerly took him in, and a new sensation jumped inside him. Cas moaned loudly, and Dean was surprised at just how pleasing this was. He had never done this before, but now he knew that he would never need a woman again. He had Cas. He somehow managed to do everything right to the angel, because in seconds Cas moaned loudly and came. Dean felt gagged for a second, but then almost laughed in pleasure. He then came back up to Cas's eye level and kissed the angel once more.

"Are you ready Cas?" he whispered. In response Cas nibbled at Dean's ear. Dean grabbed Cas and rolled him over so that he was lying on his stomach. The hunter was ready—he always had been deep in his heart. Dean eagerly thrust into Cas and the angel instantly moaned as his hunter finally gratified him after so many years of little jokes, indefinite eye contact, and subtle gestures…

Dean could barely control himself and he didn't last very long before he screamed in orgasm. Cas was nearly crying in delight when Dean rolled over onto his back and pulled the angel close, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head. He had done it. He had finally told Cas, and now that he had, Dean couldn't believe all that he had been missing out on. He held his little angel tightly through the endless night, and at some point managed to drift asleep.

When Dean awoke, he was surrounded by darkness, but he knew that everything was all right. He could feel Cas clinging to him with his arms wrapped around the hunter's chest. Dean sighed and looked down at Cas, who turned out to be awake. Cas was gazing at the hunter with such a look of devotion that Dean wanted to melt.

"Good morning, I suppose," Dean said, leaning in to kiss Cas. Cas responded equally and when they pulled apart he said "Morning."

"How long was I asleep?" Dean asked.

"Maybe a few hours."

"Is there time here?" Dean asked. Cas shook his head.

"There is, but it isn't really evident. For us, it'll be eternity…"

"Well, as much as I'd like eternity with you Cas, I really don't want to stay here…" Dean said. Cas reached up and began to trace Dean's anti-possession tattoo.

"I like my mark on you much better," he whispered. Dean glanced over at his shoulder, which still had a light imprint of Cas's hand. Dean smiled.

"I guess you really claimed me as yours then," he laughed huskily.

"Mhmm," Cas mumbled, cuddling up closer to Dean.

"Cas?" Dean asked suddenly.

"Yes?"

"You were a virgin before that, huh?" he said.

"Yes I was. But, I'm really happy that you were the one to take it," Cas said.

"Me too. I mean, you know that I've been with women—okay, a lot of women, so naturally I did some virgins, but—I don't know what my point was. I just—I wish that I could take all of it back for you," Dean finished awkwardly.

"Don't worry about it Dean. You couldn't have known all of your life that I would pull you out of perdition and that you would fall in love with me," Cas said.

"Well, when you say it like that I sound like some damn desperate school girl," Dean said, slightly offended.

"Oh no, I don't mean it like that. I see that love is a beautiful thing Dean. I think that I recognized some feelings in the past from you… I just didn't say anything… But, its okay to let your guard down you know… I think that was our problem. You couldn't admit it," Cas said.

"I know I couldn't. Thanks for helping me," Dean said. "I'm a damn blind son-of-a-bitch that I couldn't see that you felt the same way. It's funny, but we could've been freaking partners this whole time. God, I'm an idiot."

"You're welcome. But, you know you aren't an idiot. It's not your fault that you couldn't act on it."

Dean nodded. "I know. I just—I really, really love you Cas."

"I love you too Dean," Cas said, kissing the hunter again. "For eternity…"


End file.
